


Cooking is Routine

by tr_ash_tin



Series: Cooking is... [2]
Category: Sanders Sides
Genre: Bad Puns, Burns, Cauliflower, Cauliflower Mac and Cheese, Cooking, Fluff, Gen, Gluten free, Slightly - Freeform, Stubborn logan, aka one use of the d word, also rating for minor cursing, but this is how i see his character so idk, dieting, possible ooc, puns
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-11
Updated: 2018-09-11
Packaged: 2019-07-11 04:59:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,979
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15965213
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tr_ash_tin/pseuds/tr_ash_tin
Summary: Logan is methodical; he has a plan for everything. Usually, everything involves cooking. But not always.





	Cooking is Routine

**Author's Note:**

> Warning; discussion of food contents and mild burns. No worries our boy is okay, though. He is stubborn as a MULE
> 
> also wow its been a hot minute since ive posted this stuff and WOW HAS THE FANDOM EXPLODED. i feel like an oldie now because i remember when we didn’t have an organized tag for this yet fnfkdkkdls anyway read on its good i promise

Logan wouldn’t say he’s proficient at cooking, but he would suffice in an environment in which he had to cook for himself. Of course, he wasn’t exactly  _ human,  _ so he had no need to worry about such things. Nonetheless, he agreed to the routine as Patton suggested. And things had run smoothly thus far. He found it highly… Enjoyable, with a set routine every week. Of course, when Virgil wouldn’t cook, it was a little haywire, but it wasn’t anything to be mad about. Their entire existence was anything but monotonous. Expecting it to be otherwise was completely ludicrous. 

 

Logan usually picked out of the catalogue of recipes that Thomas has oozed over, or just simply looked at one time or another. He would cook the same thing, but Patton wanted ‘variety’; of which didn’t make sense to him, but he didn’t complain. He printed the recipe out, so he could follow the instructions. Cooking wasn’t that hard, after all. It is a list of input instructions that give a satisfactory output, if put in exactly how it is said. Of which, Logan could manage if he had the recipe.

 

To endorse healthy eating in Thomas, he decided on a cauliflower macaroni with feta cheese. Simple, yet low carbs, and low fat, with the added bonus of no gluten. He printed it out of his mind computer earlier in the day, and left it on his desk, to turn himself to his ordinary routine. That being, arguing with Roman about what Thomas should be doing, and examining Thomas’s actions whilst giving him logical explanations to solve whatever mundane problem he was struggling with.

 

Later in the day, he returned to his room to get the recipe. His desk was a mess of papers and textbooks, as it usually was. But, despite his grade A organizational skills, the recipe was nowhere to be found. Normally, this wouldn’t have been a problem, but he didn’t have time to print it out a second time; he would have to go from memory this time.

 

Logan sighed as he gave up his search for the recipe, and headed downstairs. Logan, even if he was the smartest one with the most common sense there, wasn’t great at memorizing. He knew facts through rote, like how repeated speech patterns became language. And this recipe hadn’t been one he exactly studied for days in and out. He knew the general things he needed; cauliflower and feta cheese, but everything else was a shot in the dark.

 

They were expecting dinner in- now, an hour. He’d have one, maybe two chances to make this. He’d only risk a second one if he royally messed up the first, since it would put him over by about ten minutes. So, he took a deep breath, and began to dice the cauliflower into macaroni sized pieces. The pieces ranged from too big to too small, but he’d be damned if he gave up. He cut the too big ones to a smaller size, of which he found too small. He scrunched up his face, but he couldn’t do anything about what had been done. He remembered hearing something about _roasting_ them instead of _steaming_ them, and while considering calling cauliflower white broccoli sounded quite humorous, he didn’t think that was quite right. He knew what the alternative meaning to roasting meant ( _Roman, you were wrong, I told you there are multiple uses of roasting still in use today_ ) but he couldn’t quite remember how to do so. A flash of memory sprinted through his head, telling him that he had to preheat the oven.

 

_ Step two, and we’re already behind, _ he worried, but leaned down to the oven. If only he could remember what temperature to cook it at; he pondered for a short moment, before taking a chance and setting it at 350 degrees- Fahrenheit, much to Logan’s mathematical chagrin. Logan tapped his foot impatiently. He decided to quickly melt and mix the cheese as the oven was heating. He put two sticks of feta in there, and thought for a moment. It seemed empty, still, so he added one more stick into the mix. He put it in the microwave; it melted into a thick, gooey substance, one like taffy, within a minute or so. He frowned slightly; that wasn’t the right consistency. 

 

The bell to warn him the oven had finally preheated rang out, and he put the cheese in the microwave to heat and hopefully decondense a bit. He found a baking pan, putting wax paper over it, before spreading the cauliflower over it. He did remember that the recipe called to put it in for 10 to 15 minutes, however. He punched the time in before putting it in. 

 

Logan turned his attention back to the microwave, and he pulled out the cheese, burning his hand slightly. The cheese had risen a bit, but not enough to spill over the bowl yet. He stirred it again. It was a little better, but it was still thick- too thick for the macaroni and cheese. He shoved it back into the microwave, and continued the cycle. 

 

Logan continued, before hearing the bell ring again, warning that the time was up, and it was preparing to deheat itself. Logan hoped that it was cooked, but despite his Elysian illusions, it wasn’t. Logan growled, before adding time to the timer. He turned back to the microwave, to see the cheese had bubbled over, and somewhat reeked of burned cheese. He grabbed the gloves, before reaching in and pulling the bubbling cheese out. He sighed. If he even dared used this cheese, it would probably give them radiation poisoning, and render them useless to Thomas for possibly a long time. He placed the hot cheese into the sink before grabbing another stick of feta. His mind tried to think; what did the recipe call as a deterrent for such an event? Well, what was cheese related to?

 

The answer snapped in his head, and he pulled out the milk in the fridge and mixed another bowl, with one stick of feta and a bit of milk, and stuck it in the microwave, keeping a close eye on it. 

 

It took a close eye and several minutes, but it was finally the right texture. Now to wait for the cauliflower. Maybe he  _ could  _ get this done in time, and no one would have to know about this mistake. He breathed in deeply to inhale the smell of cheese, but found a redolent smell akin to… smoke.

 

Logan turned to the oven immediately, and even through the blacked out glass, he could see the red hot iron cages that held the cauliflower. He coughed as he opened it, noticing a small flame had caught on several of the cauliflower. Wearing gloves didn’t protect him from burning his hands as he patted down the hot flame. He pulled out the rack quickly, trying not to catch his hand on fire, or hurt it more than he had to. The fire was out, but his cauliflower macaroni was dead. He didn’t notice the blaring siren that was the fire alarm going off above his head. 

 

Suddenly, another person rushed in. “Woah, Logan!” Patton’s voice- and probably his body pulled him away from the offending object, before snapping to turn off the fire alarm, and returning the kitchen to its natural form. Logan stood, slightly dazed from smoke inhalation, and mildly mad at himself- or Patton, maybe. He could’ve managed this. He knew he could’ve. “Lo, are you okay?” Patton placed his hands on Logan’s shoulders, and Logan nodded disdainfully, looking dead at the burnt cauliflower. “I seem to have miscalculated what exactly I needed to do to cook this dish,” He said, clearing his throat. “I apologize for the inconvenience. Dinner may be later than I suspected.” He said, before returning to the refrigerator to try again at the cauliflower. He knew what to expect now; he would be able to do it. He wasn’t as dumb as to do the same thing- that failed- twice. It would be a hindrance to not only him and the other sides, but to Thomas as well.  

 

A hand stopped him before he could grab the handle. “Logan,” He said, like a parent scolding a child, “You can ask for help, you know.” He said, not losing his tone of voice. Logan shrugged him off. “While I appreciate the offer, Patton, I am fine.” He insisted, and Patton retreated to the other side of the kitchen. He sighed, and placed the second head of cauliflower down. He prepared it the same as before, and he was going to put it in before Patton’s voice rang out again. “You’re supposed to add melted butter on top of it, so it doesn’t burn as easily.” Logan turned his head to the voice- Patton had simply been watching him this whole time? And he held the cheese? “This also needs some more salt and pepper, but it’s great either way!” He cheered. “You’re doing good!” He insisted. Logan looked away from him, slightly miffed, but appreciative of the advice. He pulled out a stick of unsalted butter, and placed it in a bowl, letting it become viscous and runny, before letting it cover the cauliflower. He looked to Patton, not for approval, but to ensure he wasn’t missing anything. There was a difference. 

 

Patton nodded briefly, and he placed it in for 20 minutes; Logan made sure to check it every five minutes, in the midst of making sure the cheese was salted or peppered enough. Patton stood next to him, a cheesy smile on his face. Both metaphorically and literally. Patton dipped a finger into it and tasted it. Logan saw his eyes light up, and he could’ve sworn, if this was a cartoon, he would’ve been all starry eyed. “I’ve been as **salt** ed!” He said, and Logan groaned, before pulling the cheese away from the offensive person. “You’re going to eat all the cheese if you don’t stop.” Patton grinned, and continued. “You’re right,” He pouted, but his eyes never losing that shine, “I  **feta** stop.” He smiled, the bell for the cauliflower ringing, Logan running to grab it. “Why do you look so  **blue** , Lo? Is it because they’re too  **sharp** ? I suppose I should leave you prov **alone** .” He continued, the smile never leaving his face as Logan put the two ingredients together. The two mixed well- not perfectly, but he stole a look at the clock- yeah, definitely out of time. It would be okay.

 

“Could you stop with the cheesy puns?” He said, still deep in his analysis. Finally, he looked to Patton, whose eyes looked like the sun, they were so bright, before realizing his fatal mistake. “Did you just-“ Logan swiftly cut him off. “Go get the others, Patton, and tell them dinner’s ready.” Patton continued smiling, like he knew something, but said nothing. He scurried off, and before he knew it, the table was set, and his hopefully non poisonous food was placed in front of each of them and dug into. “This is good for you, geekcus.” Roman said as he bit into the food. It was still a little bit tough, but the cheese helped to distract from it, with its… strong flavour. “Definitely better than mine,” Virgil mumbled, and Patton said something about not being self depreciative. Logan shrugged. It wasn’t bad, and he did his best for what he was given. And he had to give credit where credit was due- otherwise, it would be plagiarizing. “I thank Patton,” He said, “He helped me where I could not remember.” He nodded with a small smile covering his face. He wasn’t an awful cook, but he’d say, maybe he was a little better with help. Just maybe.

**Author's Note:**

> geekus? graecus? no? okay understandable have a great day
> 
> god i miss these kids so much


End file.
